Ah Khang

Saturday, April 25, 2009


She left me in the morning of 7th April without slightest indication. My cat Ronron, or I would refer as my best friend, as usual crept up early in the morning trying to open my bedroom door. She had this skill of jumping on the door handle and then swung with her body weight to open every door in the apartment. I was still in deep sleep as thus I shrugged off the noise she made. She did that every morning, so I was accustomed to her behavior.

10 minutes later, I woke up to start my day. It was almost 7:30am. I took a shower as usual and Luc suddenly came in total distress to tell the bad news, Ronron was found dead on the kitchen table. My first thought was that it was impossible, nor that I wanted to believe it. I followed him doubtfully and there I saw the warm body of Ronron lying peacefully on the table without any single heartbeat. The horror started to sink in, I tried hard to jolt her body hoping that it might bring her back to life, but in vain. She was already gone, just like that, leaving her adorable home just in a few minutes…

I was in total dismay the whole morning. Tears started filling up my eyes, I couldn’t accept the fact. I always said I would be in great pain to see Ronron leave me in 10 years when she would die of old age. But not like this, I just couldn’t imagine my cat who has accompanied me for 4 years, day and night, suddenly just walked out of my life. ..

I took her body to the vet, of course no clue can be given by the vet either, as she left too suddenly. Might be cardiac attack, or blood clot… I didn’t want any autopsy, that wouldn’t bring her back, and anyway there was no guarantee to find a cause either.

The rest of the day, I was unable to do anything. I only felt desperate, hopeless and terrible. I keep thinking of all the nice moments Ronron had given me in these 4 years, all the retrospects never stopped flooding my mind. I cried, and cried again. There is no Ronron sleeping on my hips now when I watch TV, no more Ronron crawling up my pant asking for foods when I cook, no more Ronron asking for tap water when I brush my teeth, no more Ronron gently putting her hand on mine when I work in front of my computer… I am so used to live my life with her, repeating the daily itinerary with her participation. Now I am left alone…

She was the reason of the absence of solitude in my world.

I just want to dedicate this post to her, thank you Ronron for giving me such a wonderful time and for sharing my life. Even though your life is short, I hope you had lived a good life with all my loves. I am still sad now, but I know one day the pain will disappear, and you will stay there as my best and most beautiful memory in my life.

I miss you!

Ronron in her bed watching me tenderly

She learned to kiss me by touching her nose on my nose

Her favorite spot to sleep.

And here finally a poem to express my thoughts...

If I had known that on that day our time was near the end,

I would have done things differently, my forever friend.

I would have stayed right next to you deep into the night, but I thought I'd see you in the early morning light.

And so I said "Good night" to you as I walked in through the door, never thinking of the time when I'd see you no more.

But if I had known that on that day our time...

Wednesday, April 22, 2009


They say it's not a good year for those under the Chinese horoscope of Goat
I just didn't believe it....
I read the prediction every year but I disregard it mostly

Unfortunately, they have got me this year
The first day of the year started badly
Things are not progressing
Work is gloomy
My most loving cat left me in total dismay
Relationship is jeopardized
and me, I am unhappy...

I have been living with great contentment these years
I guess I have to compensate these happiness once in a while
I might loose more of the things that I care this year
but I will not loose myself

If nobody is going to love me, I will learn to love myself.
And I still don't want to believe the horoscope...